so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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