I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize