"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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