Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
