Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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