if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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