Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
