Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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