I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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