Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
