Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
