Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
