Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize