wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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