If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
