Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
