so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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