when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
