Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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