He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He passed out mid-signature
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
