..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
