Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You've changed since you got that strap on
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
