I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
