drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
