How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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