Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
