he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
