I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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