Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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