marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
