i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize