New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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