the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
