there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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