I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
