he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
