we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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