Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
