Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize