What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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