my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
