Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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