I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
