kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
