its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
