Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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