4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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