How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
