I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
