Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
