If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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