It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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