I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
