I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
