We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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