all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
