at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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