Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
a search helicopter?!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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