; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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